Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
