people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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