Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize