don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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