a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
