Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I party with great urgency now.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
