Do you still have your period?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
