You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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