Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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