he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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