i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
