He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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