Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Of course I have a pirate flag
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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