dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
