the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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