I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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