3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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