I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
