Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize