OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
