ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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