Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
