this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
