Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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