I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
