A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
