My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
