Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
