You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
