Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
