Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
