talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
