She's JV to your varsity
My nipple is on Facebook.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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