Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im drinking this country out of the recession.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
