Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
