How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Randomize