either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
