You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
