dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I need moral support for this bender
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize