Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize