watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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