yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
