Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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