Pants 0. Shit 1.
People in love make me want to vomit
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
