I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
