We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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