Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
