i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
