check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
