when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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