You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
