just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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