we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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