If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
