plz talk dirty to me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
