is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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