its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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