I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
