i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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