We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
