There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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